Sending you a fruit basket because I want to taste you Hoping that you read the card and followed the directions Taking no pleads or begging saying no to any objections saying that even though sharing is caring, i care not to share Sparing no time for your to even speak Once you make it through the door i am a cannibal I am ready to eat On my knees in a flash, wrestling to get your pants down Snatching your dick in my heads as if someone was tryna take it away Slamming it in my mouth as if I was making a slam dunk Using my face as the rim Swish down my throat it goes Squeezing my throat muscles around the tip of your dick Choking just so I can please you  Forcing you to grab both sides of my head and just fuck me  Using my head as my hips and my mouth as my pussy  You go in and out, Sloooow, Then start to speed it up Changing paces more times then I can catch my breathe The river that flows from my lips, down my face joins the puddle ...

My kid is my kid The apple of my eye  Anybody hurt him trust believe youll wish you could just die His temper is as hot as a firecracker but he is as sweet as my baby His words are his words no need to sugarcoat them He says what he feels and stands behinds what he says Im raising him to be the best that he can be  Even if its slick talking and come off disrespectful i expect him to always hold his own He isnt grown so don't step to this child. Im his mother and I'm always ready to correct defend and take care of mines.  

Hey excuse me can you sex me real quick. No I didn't mean text.  I meant just what I said, can u sex me real quick? Can u stick ur dick in my pussy.  If that's too vulgar I'll rephrase it.  Can u send your hands up my skirt let ur fingers trickle across my clit and they get inside my panties.  Grip me tightly by the neck holding me close lowering down my inhibitions showing me your here to please.  Pulling me the rest of the way so that our lips wrestle just to see who will be on top. Thrusting your tongue in and out of my mouth showing me  that I lose. Moaning in your mouth as you continue to trickle now rub on my clit. Suddenly grasping for air as you thrust your strong thick long fingers into my vagina. Press me up against any secured structure lift up my skirt pull down your pants drop them to your Knees. I break free from ur kiss and tell u reach into my pocket and retrieve the condom. U do as i say ...

Fuck me like you mean it.  Slap my ass when I dont obey a command that I was giving.  Hold my arms high above my head connecting them to black rope signaling that this is about to get real. Bark "woof" Bark louder bitch you say as u slap my pussy.  Use me like the whore I told you I'd be.  Forget that from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday I am your boss.  May I speak mister?  I ask just so we know the roles that are being played.  Slay me ravish me like the slut that i yearn to be but cant be.  To strong to admit that i can be made to submit if only someone took the time to get to know me.  Yank me by the hair force your tongue down my throat and your fingers in my holes.  Tearing down all the walls and defenses I put in place so something like this would never fuck happen.  Bite my nipples left then right. Squeeze so tightly that I start to have a spasm.  Screaming out your name you start sucking on my ni...

Im high as a kite Soaring on a fusion flight  Picking up where my ex thought he left me Soaring over my obstacles like Ha ha you can't catch me Taking every shot that i can at my dreams No themes this is where i wanna be floating,toting, choking, getting as high as can be. Here I come, i see you... My Destiny 

What do you consider rape? Is it the forceful unauthorized entry into someone home, place, vessel. Can it be the unlawful access into someone's head and making them wish they were dead. Or could it be the anything that violates me. So ive been raped time after time again. Ive been forced to  fuck just so that my safety would remain with me. Ive been  forced to suck some dick, just so i could be free. My mind has been molested, beat and made to be enslaved. I caved every time i felt i was in danger. I allowed myself to be victimized over and over again, hiding my scares and covering my tears so they wouldn't fall. Reliving my drama over and over each time that i speak. Every time im alone with one of them i caved in just so they wont hurt me. It only takes one rape to be afraid of all men.

Here i go again down this rabbit hole. Crushed and bruised, tryna wipe my tears quickly before they could see them.  Why do i continue to  do this ro myself?  Offering my love and dedication, and surrendering my time and commitment, Just to be let down gently. Nothing is gentle when ur wrestling inside your head what can they possibly say. Did i not make you happy? Do i need to slit my throat just for you to see. Fuck this i quit.  I cant take the pressure of not knowing and the fact the you need to do it face to face. 

Am desperate and you know it. Preying upon my insecurities that you can careless about. Pouting and screaming, scheming up ways to demean myself just so you'd come visit. Insisting that you can't smell it, you cant possibly see that im needy.  Like... Take away all the whorish slutting myself poems and texts i send.  Dedicating poem after poem in your honor. Declaring that you are my muse. Even though your abusing my mental with all your subliminal responses. Having me caught up in a daze. Freely putting me back and fourth on the shelf when ever you want to. Take me Captain Hook, im yours to neglect and mislead. Ignore the blood seeping through my chest down to my feet. See past all the pleads for help and just use me. Help bring me to my knees and tell me that you don't FUCKING  WANT ME. BE A MAN, MY MAN AND DO WHAT YOU USUALLY DO..... Come fuck me, then forget me, ignore my texts until you feel like giving a petty fuck to lor old me

I want your devotion.  I want you to commit blasphemy. Taking the lords name in vain.  Praying that I will allow you to please me . Eat my ass like it's a Pattie LaBelle pie. Just scrumptious.  Deflowering my ass like it was a virgin being sacrificed. No I am not Christ but for tonight you will worship me. Offer me your dick on a silver platter. Use your face as my throne. Turning ur tongue into a safety harness so that my pussy will be secure. Gripping your plaits as if they were handle bars holding you in place. Telling you to slow down this is not a race. Ignoring your groans as moaning in pleasure from just knowing I am about to come. Reshaping you into my fuck toy I push you down onto your back straddle you like your a bucking bronco and I'm tryna see how long I can last on this ride. Feeling you deep up inside.  I start to moan shake and spasm. Digging my hands into your chest as if I was digging up your soul. I hold on for dear life. Your fuck...

Even in my thoughts you fuck me, My mind into infinity Making my hands grab paper so my pen can molest it with an orgasm of words Writing down all the naughty things that you did in my head Closing my eyes to react it all out again in my mind as Im writing  Reread Replay  Then continuing to write Slowly building up my own orgasm  Writing line after line, directing my own personal movie You continue to FUCKING SCREW ME.  TRIMMERING AND SHAKING MAKING ME MOAN AND BEG YOU AND GRINDING BACK IN PASSION, PULLING YOU DOWN JUST TO BITE YOUR BOTTOM LIPAND PULL YOUR HAIR AS I COME Body full of chills riding on magic bliss just by thinking of you 

Im ready  Ill stop texting and begging for you to acknowledge me and respond I wont continue to ponder if its my bluntness that scares you or your just not interested I invested so much into this one sided fantasy  I gave you my body and parts of my mind I wont do this any longer Ill leave you alone  Im ready now I have to kick u out of my head and toture my body to recover from your touch Ill ignore the longing that i get when I think about your kisses Im so sorry but i cant do this Fuck  Have you eaten any fruits today  Im thirsty.

Im getting that feeling again when i want your lips pressed against mines And our bodies so close that when you breathe i enhale you I wanna feel the tip of you tongue on mines I want it to take control of my mouth and make it submit to your will  I need this Your kiss will bring a smile to my day and tingle in my middle Having me so caught up with pride when im staring at ur eyes Cuz this is the moment Your coming in close im Starting to get lost Can you come get me from this subconscious space Only you can bring me from outta my head Put your lips on mines

Sitting here crying  Tryna figure out am i really happy Can i continue to hold my head up with pride as the tears remain falling knocking me down from this place  Do i even need to say grace Ive been eating excuse after excuse Double dipping in a bowl full of depression  Mixing with a splash of over thinking Washing it down with regret and desperation  Screaming that im happy alone admitting to myself that im a fake Im scared of the loneliness its slowly fucking killing me Ripping out my sanity as i hear them laughing and surrounding me These walls  These fucking walls they are taunting me  Please stop this  Please Ill stop lying  Im not happy Ill tell my therapist on Wednesday and hopefully by Sunday ill be closer to you my companion, my friend.

I kissed u and I don't feel wrong about it I've been wanting to do it for yrs. Happy that u called it out even happier that I've accepted it could it be wrong while my man is at home I'm blown cuz i want it and I'm wrong cuz i did it. We were smoking wasn't thinking. I may b lying but I'm trying to smoke again and this time let me shot gun u first.

Where does love go when u can't feel it in return. How do you know that you've turned cold, when all u feel is hot hatred for some one. Letting ur tears fall but not making a sound because u don't want anyone to see them. Resenting ur true feelings because people around u won't be happy. When are u suppose to be you, when someone is holding your inner self hostage. When do you break free?

Letting go may fell like the right thing to do until u realize all the sweat time and tears u put into that shit u start making plans​ and ways to keep it.  Thinking maybe things aren't as bad as they seem even tho ur in a room with no doors or Windows and it's closing in.  Even then u try to find a way to maneuver and keep things civil and alive knowing that ur dying inside u try to live on the outside because people are watching you.  Keep ur mouth closed cuz u no no one is really gonna listen.  Water is starting to fill the already closing room and u try to stay afloat hoping that this is nightmare that u will one day awake from.  Eyes swollen scratch marks adoring ur upper arms cuz u hugged urself so tight.  Look on the bright side at least u know who ur monsters truly are.

To all the guys and girls that I've dated and loved but never loved me back just look.  I gave you my all with out any trepidation over looking the red flags just because you said you loved me. Supporting you with everything in me physically mentally and emotionally.   Putting my wants and needs on the back burner just so that we could grow together and be one.  Bending over backwards just so you wouldn't be hurt like you told me all the others have done you.  Holding in my tears, dumbing down my conversations just so you wouldn't "think" that im talking Down to you.  Not tryna be the over nagging controlling type that you said that you hate.  Taking all the blame when shit went wrong. Then kissing ya ass just to try to fix it.  Breaking down when you decide that your tired of using me.  Tryna keep my cool when ya friends tell me how you  told them you never really wanted to be with me.  Having the ...

Fuck it  I'll jump.  I'll plummet heart first into this shallow abyss that scares me.  I'll maneuver my crys to be synced to withstand the lies that I'm sure ull tell me. Programming my hands to pack and unpack my things in an blink of an eye, Just so I can be ready.  Unsure when you will show ur true colors. Telling my son that ull be a prominent figure in his life, knowing that u will be around just until I learn to love ur deceit.  Holding my head up with pride cuz I'll be DAMNED if I hang it low in defeat.  Even though I  should.  Im being punished for falling blindly in love with you.  Ignoring all the signs, the unanswered texts that u say u never got but I know that u did I sent them twice just to make sure, pretending not to see you with every chick around the way.  What I cant see I cant get mad about.  I'm sorry for not being a whore like I used to. Im babbling   what I mean to say, I'm ready to ...

I never gave cupid permission to try and shoot me with an arrow. Nor did i tell him i was looking for love. He tries to use his power to make people do things against their will. But today i am taking a STAND. I will not allow this grown ass man in a business suit to tell me if im in love or not. I wont allow myself to be victimized by a day in a month that was supposed to be about something else. You hear me cupid You wont make me  conform to ur will. I dont want love and you cant make me. Cuz its 2019 Im a black women who has the right to vote. So if you dont back the fuck off Cupid my big man. Ill be seeing ur ass in court.

I really dont know how to start this but your a star that shines so bright in my life.  You make me stop and realize that its not all just about me. You show ur love and support without being over bearing. Your a smile provoking genius, with just the words that you say. You speak your mind so elegantly, that if you never told  me id thought you were to good to be true. Your a mystery that needs to be undiscovered and examined and shared with the world.  If everyone could see that guy that you hide so well, they would see why your always the topic of my conversations. You may have unspoken intentions, but you never let them interfere with your judgment, or sway your beliefs. I could never say it too much but im honored to be able to have ran into you on Airg when Boost was really popping, and that you gave me the time of day.   You seen that i was vulnerable and you never took me because I was easy prey. You got to know me and befriended me, a...

Im starting to  see things differently  That some shit don't  seem to impress me I got jealous recently because a dude that i fucked when i was depleted of self esteem  Wants someone that i know He wants to wine and dine her, but i wasn't worth more than a fuck in the park Jealously is an ugly thing but it remains that im starting to realize what it really was I was jealous because i didn't love me I didn't want anymore from myself I allowed him to use me like i used him for an temporary fix  Never realizing that i could permanently fix myself  That i didn't need to fuck guy after guy Settleing for nothing, because at that moment i thought even less was better than I deserved I was my own worst enemy, working for free  Destroying myself just because i was afraid of loving me Why go against the normal people when they dont love me either But as i stated before im starting to see things differently  And this new perso...

I thought about u again today You were laying down behind me, holding me, laying your head on mines.  You were loving me.  In your arms i felt protected, shielded from the cruel cold world. Your kisses on my ear made me feel as though I was the most Beautifuliest women in the  world. Rocking me just like i was your baby, humming all the ways that  you loved me. Saying that we will never part, that we'll get married and have  some kids. Turning my head so that we can kiss. I miss the way your lips felt against mines. They felt like the softest pair of silk pillows  I could stay connected to them forever. Pressing my ass back against you, I love how it always rose to attention.  Grinding as your hands move up to touch my breast, pinching then squeezing them. I began to moan as your other hand goes on a journey to get into my pants. Opening up my legs u precede to put your hand in my pants and pass my panties latching right on...

I wanna kiss. I want another set of lips touching my lips. I want to feel soft flesh cross the tip of my tongue. I wanna learn french without speaking. I wanna close my eyes and fall into the safe pillows that resides on your face, just below you nose and above your chin. I want soup out of those coolers I can't stop looking at. Trying to resist it, but they keep insisting that I touch them. I wanna wrestle ur tongue with mines as our lips plays as the ring. Nothing in between us I dont care who wins. I wanna kiss as if my life depended on it. No meds, no doctors, no nurses Flatlining  Ur here Perfect timing  Ur lips, my lips connecting resurrecting me. I need it, u gave it. If only I  wasn't dreaming, ughhhhhh fuck I just want a Kiss.

Mind race slowly pacing  tracking down my insecurities  to see y they are haunting me  sleep taunts me with her naked beauty, throwing ass in my face, but wont let me  taste the bitter sweet nectar of her juices. Another night of bribing her only for me to just toss and  turn, trying to remember when my flaws started to hate me. Fuck it, the pills on the dresser is calling me. I know they  wanna take me!

Y did u hurt me I gave u my heart, my world I would of sold my soul to see you happy Jump through hopes and sqim through the freaking sea just to be by ur side I took your last name I fucking loved you I thought it was real, but it was all a freaking joke at my expense U played me I gave u a fucking kid and u still didn't care I thought you were the one but you weren't  U showed ur true colors and proved everyone right U never loved me at all I was just a game you playedwith none of your might.

Im not good at writing stories, but I'll paint  you a picture. Brownskin, thick  thighs, cute eyes multi colored hair guys swore chick wasnt from around here. Had a mind of her own, thought she was grown played with big boys was very fond of big toys. Went alone in the park, quite dark, mini skirt, short shirt, black heels, free balling just to get a thrill. Not paying attention to her  surroundings, until she was grounded. One hand around her neck, pinned down as the other  hand fondled all around. Too scared to scream, or even  to think of a scheme to remove his hand. One, two, three punches to the face, her lights were out. Like  an outer body experience she  sees what's about to happen. Removing his hands from her neck, he kisses her lips. Pulling up her shirt revealing her bra,  slowly fondling her right nipple  as he bites down hard on the  left one. Pulling down his pants retrieving his...

Closing my eyes tightly so that my tears can not escape from their chambers. Ego stricken, grieving the lost of my heart when I allow  myself to love you. Cursing my tears for finding a  way out when you calles, shoning my damn mind for thinking of you. Knowing that you only gonna hurt me, but I  still keep allowing you  to come in, stop by, fuck me, sleep, then leave me high and dry. Then only hearing from you when you wanna come again and again and again. Fucking my heart raw till it bleeds, left me straight up leaking, shrieking  out obscenities and swearing up a  storm. But I guess if I keep allowing you back everytime you decide that your ready  to get some, this will always be my norm.

Fuck you, but saying I love you is just the same.

I could really use a hug Some love from a thug.   Someone that could fuck Me senselessly make me Forget that we could be in Love.

Yall expect for me not to wanna do dumb things when dumb things are the easiest and freeist things to do Little girls get taught to be what men and little boys like at a young age But being a doctor or a lawyer is to hard and frown upon  But bragging about how much money you can make from stripping is the norm I grew up in a environment of drugs violence no common sense and i was my mother best friend.  So i was also taught all the easy dumb things, but never the importance of becoming something, someone better. No male role model in my life that i can say taught me that i was precious and beautiful  Until i grew up and started having sex. But i still wasn't called anything other than a number or a hoe But i have a child of my own now and ill teach him that his dreams aren't just dreams. He can be whatever he wants to be.  Ill lay my life on the line just so that he can see. Imma be his flashlight when he says mom I can't do this. Imma be hi...

My life is in a shambles  My life is in dis array My dreams is of headless men My gayness is not so happily bliss My husband is the Mrs. and I am the miss While I sit back and try 2 diss this feeling I'm longing 4 the truth, but disappointed in the answer Im married 2 a guy that kisses girl but he likes dick And I am confused by his notion cuz he's double dipping in in the ocean But he's suppressing it until it makea me explode My life is in a shambles  My mind is in dis array My love is for a girly man that I really can't stand I can't quite put my hand on it, but I just can't shake it My heart lies with a man that denies that my love is truly real My gayness is not so happily bliss My dreams is of headless men My husband is the Mrs. and I the Miss.

I have been taunted by so many dreams of how I was to die. And the dreams just made me think about my life and how i am to achieve what i was put on this earth to do before i desmise, as if I never existed. The dreams allowed my mind to wonder if life has a stop or dead line for my project. Did I forget the due date or did I ever have one. My dreams are too serious and too real. They make me wanna pray. But by now I know IM A SINNER and there's no changing that.

Slumped down in my seat  To caught up in my mind To think carefully. Swerving in an out of lanes, Tryna get a grip  on reality, Telling myself that this isnt real. Feeling the pressure squeezing my chest, Tightly,  Grabbing the steering wheel with all my might, Turning to the right, Just so i don't get hit from the,  Left, Feeling my body jerk, Back and fourth  Side to side, Feeling the tears, As they start to burn a permanent trail on my face. Back in my head, Over thinking the decisions, I made up to this point. Hating myself for all the grudges ive held for so long, With no end in sight. Being blinded by the light, Should i stay,  Should i go, Grasping for air, Tryna register the sounds in my head, are those voices Calling me, Helping me fight to get back into reality.  Mommy, MOMMY, MAAAAAAAAA, There it goes again What who is it. Fighting through the pain trying to respond. Help HELP HELPPPP Screa...

Ur  Twice My Age But i want you. You touch parts of me that cater to the chilld in me that searched for love in all the wrong beds You dont force me to be anything but calmer Disarming me with your words when im at one hunnid (one hundred) Forcing me to accept the truth even when Im being stubborn  Opening your arms and allowing me and my son to come in Not objectifying my beauty because of the color or my skin Realizing that right is not always white Seeing the light in me through all my darkness  Giving me tips and advice on life Never calling me your girlfriend or your wife but showing me you want me in your life Not tying me down with mundane conversations but uplifting my spirits when they are empty But then again you tell me to go find someone else my age.  But i dont want to and you cant make me change.

I want to be fucked just like the way my ex used me Long and hard Fot three whole years Ignoring the tears, the pleas for love and commitment I wanna fuck for as many hours as the silent treatments lasted Hours, days, sometimes weeks even I wanna be fucked for all the nights I laid in bed wanting him to touch me and never did I want to be fucked for all the times he said he looked for jobs,  but never got them But watched me struggling with two I wanna be fucked for everytime he said he loved me and my kid but turned around and treated us like shit I want to be fucked for everytime I wanted to leave him and cried so I could stay But then leave me when I helped him get on his feet Im crying for everytime I called him asking him for help and he ignored me  Im finally smiling now and six months later here goes his texts Are you mad at me? Do you hate me? Do you have and vendetta against me? Nope I just dont respect you like you dont respect you. ...

Falsifying information just so that you will like.  Lowering my head proudly as i follow you. Making me become one with my inner self Im a slave in the making Martin Luther king jr couldn't even save me himself Im ready for the spankings and lynch my titties in unapologetic positions Being ravished by many but only submitting to one Begging to be punished because i purposely disobeyed you Being your house bitch Scratching itches that other chicks couldn't full fill Slowly becoming one with this thought I wanna be free to love and have fun But also be your slave  Your my one.

Im tired of your girlfriend,shes always on your phone again Interrupting our time, fucking up my mind Leaving you dumb long ass voicemails, and text after text after text after text Like damn can she chill? Like i give her all her time I dont call or text on the nights that's hers  Im mad fucking respectful, but this shit is getting outta line She got one more time to call and further interrupt me or imma make he show her ass that he's really  Mines!

So I woke up out of my sleep just because I was looking for love. How fucking low. Can I not just dictate my dreams to follow my lead and just be nice for once. So my ex kept making guest appearances in it as if he was a movie star getting paid just because he came through. But I never asked nor did I mean to dream about him but watever. Hopefully it will get better and I'll recover. Fuck it I'm getting a companion pet. Ughhhhhhh why do I have a cold?                           Signed,                                  Me

Imma clean up today  Imma sweep my floora nd dust my shelves  Wash the dishes and wipe the stove  Imma hand wipe the walls and i might even spit shine the tables. Imma go through my phone and delete some numbers  Ignore phone calls from my exes Ill empty the trash in the house and in my phone Imma wash my sheets and my pillows Washing away the scent of fucking, so that my bed can be clean Imma clean up today Imma fold my clothes and put my heart up to dry Straining to force my feelings into their place, so they can stop cluttering up judgment  Throwing away old food and old thoughts  Dancing to my music as i clean Rearranging my auro to shine and be Bright  Imma clean up today  Imma even open up my blinds so i can see the light.  

I gotta tune out my thoughts  Stop having so many conversations in my head  Stop getting out of the bed Reading books or tryna learn new games Waking up my mind in an scary way  Believing that one day my mind will out think Play mind games with my mental  Forcing me to think of it as its own seperate being Not a part of me but superior to me Stumped down and pleading  For my nights back when i was Sleeps' whore and my mind was my friend  Slutting myself out to ssleep she would come on a daily When my mind was my friend he would make sure my thoughts wouldn't try to abort from sleeps vagina Im tryna remember when it seemed like i could make my mind not speak but lately it been keeping me from ascending into a STATE OF SLEEP 

I wanna be loved  by love that makes  no sense It will be right when it's  wrong, it will be stronger than a sluts' walk at pride I'd ride with you even on  skates Take you out on dates, where we walk hand in hand Making plans so this love will never be flaky Creating you do it yourself love  letters Getting better with my imagery Painting you a picture of what's to come from all thia love that I'm giving  You Take my mind to new heights,  thinking of new ways to love you Making bigger hoops so we can  jump through  Holding hands and locking lips,  dipping to show gravity, that  even he can't stop us from falling in love. 

If I  cheat on you, please don't kill me Don't try to put your hands on Smacking me around and  punching me Don't leave me badly bruised, that my family will not be able  to even recognize me Don't try to take my dignity because I slashed your pride Just let me go. Let me have a piece of your  mind, without your hands doing the talking  Take back all the things you  brought me or even try to  forgive me Just pleeeeeeaaaassseeeeee (Please) don't take me from  my son.

This is my very first poem that I will be posting. Its will be the first of many but I'll start with this one........  I want love that can be heard cross nations I want love so bad that Ive even fingered the idea of fucking with my ex just because he has been saying he loves me  Having vulnerable written across my forehead when someone asks why are you single, Beautiful  Im single because love dont fall off roofs and into my lap  Birds dont fly above me singing Beautiful melodies so i can get get high off their music My apartment complex wont allow for the lonely part of me to get a companion pet unless i pay Reminding me of all the people that i was with. When grass cash or ass was in play they would stay But you ask me why im single right? Im single because love dont love me how i love it It throws fake feelings in its place to get me to fall in something that i thought was him and then it uses all its powers to s...

I finally made a blog. Hey, hey look at me. So to make this short this will be a blog about whatever comes to me mind. My own personal journal if you must. And for those people who are strict about grammar and punctuation, while im not so get over it. Thank you for reading.